As one could guess, I have been MIA because I was finally making the long anticipated move from my hometown to Chicago. I had a really great post in mind prior to leaving but when it came down to it, I preferred to hang out with my mom, sleep and say goodbye to a few good girlfriends that I didn't have to hunt down.
Yes, my last five days or so were beyond stressful due to issues with selling my car, disappointing friends and realizing that it was the last time in a long while that my puppy would cuddle with me while I was sick. However, I will choose to ignore those items for a more upbeat post. A few great things happened while I was moving; I became closer with friends that I had been close to in the past and saw how they've grown, I went through a very therapeutic purge of everything I've been hanging onto for years, and I shed all of the unnecessary and fake friendships that I had felt obligated to have due to proximity.
I previously wrote about my friend Cherry and how she was catfished via a dating website. She and I were close the last bit of our college experiences and have recently reconnected. I've always adored the talks Cherry and I could have, deep one minute, superficial the next, and a lot of them about our frustrations with guys. Prior to my leaving, she had just started seeing a guy she met in the Old Market one night. She was having a blast and had a few drinks and met a guy that was not drinking. This means that Cherry was her wild, direct and goofy self the first time meeting this guy and she didn't scare him away. They exchanged numbers after he drove she and all of her friends home (winner!) and arranged time for them to meet again. After a few successful dates, which included him surprising her while she was in the Old Market again, things continue to go well. Cherry certainly testing new waters and benefiting significantly from that. Why didn't I think of that? Ugh. Either way, the last month or so, I was lucky enough to get closer to Cherry again. Obviously distance makes everything a little more difficult. Will we meet at a bar for shots of frog sperm again where I subsequently rip my top off? Probably not (thank god), but I do know that as things get more serious with this guy, I will be one of the first in the loop. And I'm okay with that type of friendship...in fact, it's the kind that I seek now that my weekends don't begin on Thursday and end on Monday. My liver can only handle so much of college.
Besides strengthening friendships, I realized which ones were not worth keeping. Whether it was the friends I had to peg down, reminding them that it was the last time they would see me for at least three months and that I worked the rest of the week, or if it were the friends who spent their finals times with me scrolling through facebook and gossiping about people I don't know -- it all bothers me. I have had a lot of friends move away for various reasons; college, job opportunities, many military, or family reasons. After my experience, I truly hope that I didn't make any of them feel the way that some of these people made me. That said, I do see this as a positive. Thanks to your inability to manage your time, have any forethought whatsoever, or think about anyone beside yourself, I will not have to waste further time keeping in touch with you, visiting when I return over the holidays or worrying about your problems. I've always been taught that you should act as the type of friend you would like to have and I try very hard to uphold that. That "golden rule," if you will, is challenging when the types of friend that make me chant this rule in my head, aren't the people I see in my life moving forward anyway. However, I do with them the best on school, relationships, or family drama -- whichever it may be.
Finally, I'm just excited because I got rid of SO MUCH CRAP! I've been hanging on to the most random things; high school prom dresses, old writing samples, shoes that I would never wear again, photos of friends I haven't spoke to in years, and most importantly, most negative feelings. I don't know if it was getting rid of the photos of an ex boyfriend I didn't know that I had, a prom dress that I remember wearing with friends I rarely speak to, or just knowing that I've gotten rid of things that I didn't need anymore -- much like the angry or hurt feelings I have harbored for years over failed relationships, rocky friendships, and things I could have done better.
My finals thoughts and one of my conversations with my mom was that it's time for me to say farewell to a lot of things. The parade of ex-boyfriends that I've allowed to make me feel bad about myself, Mean-Girls that have encouraged me to be a Bitchy Betty myself, the memories of my family the way it used to be, and every little thing in between. Nebraska will always be where I'm from, but it was never where I felt I belonged. I do realize that the phrase "you take you with you where you go," is very true...and thankfully I am not the one that I desire to leave behind. I see only positive things for my future in what is my new home: Chicago. Great friends that I'm friends with because we value each other, a continually evolving career where I am appreciated and, maybe, finding the love that my brother-in-law lectured me about on my first night out in the Windy City.
xx
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