I've been living in Chicago for a full month today. Away from my friends, my mom and brother, and the comfort of my couch sanctuary in a dungeon-like basement. I'm in a new, unfamiliar and very different city. Recently I've had the pleasure of a mental breakdown on the Brownline, wandering around downtown thanks to the faulty GPS in my iPhone, and taking in the beautiful skyline from Museum Campus. Gotta take the good with the bad, right?
Either way, I've been here for a short thirty days and have realized a couple of things: some people really suck at keeping in touch and, fortunately, some friends have pleasantly surprised me by staying in contact. The dirty and loveable men from the Valley? I swap messages with most of them at least twice weekly. It's sweet that they want to make sure I'm alive, haven't been raped and repeatedly assure them they haven't missed out on watching my steamy lesbian encounters. The great guy that lived up the street from me and went on my insomnia-induced late night walks with me? We text daily and it's become one of my favorite parts of my day. This is the guy that those friends that don't do a good job of staying in touch haven't been overly in favor of me talking to and especially dismissive of. Interesting. Old coworkers, friends from a few summers ago that are doing big things and the countless array of exboyfriends (that's a story for another day), have surprised me -- both good and bad -- about reaching out and congratulating me on the move.
I can't say how happy I am that some people have stayed in touch so well. It makes living in a new place far more comforting and gives me something to look forward to when I return to my cornfields back home. That said, it makes me very upset that many of my closest and oldest friends are so awful at remaining in contact. I don't think I'm overly needy or have too high of expectations but it would be nice to hear from my friends about how their lives are going, to know that they care that I'll soon be starting my amazing job, or just to see if I've gotten pushed off the Redline by a crazy on the Wilson stop. To make things easier, I will outline a few "Do's and Don't's" of keeping in touch.
Don't think that Snapchat is an acceptable substitute for real communication. Yes, it is a segue into a further conversation. I send you a snappy of me frowning from the couch and saying I'm hungover? Ask what I did the night before! You send me one of you looking frazzled from a crazy day of work? I will text you that you look ridiculous and to get some sleep. Send me a picture of you looking adorable before a tailgate? I'll ask where you got that cute tshirt the next time we speak on the phone. Snapchat, I hate you and the false illusion you give my friends. Also, it's not "keeping in touch," when you send the same thing to 45 people.
Do leave me hilarious voicemails when you call and I don't pick up. If I don't answer, I'm probably pissed off because my stupid phone died (thank you, AT&T), I'm walking and it's too loud to talk on the phone with the trains above me, or I am a little grumpy and not in the mood to talk. Last week, I was so happy to listen to a message from Cherry that she had a dream that I had to cut off my legs and she was worried about me. Picturing her waking up in a panic that her partner in crime was now legless made me giggle all the way home from the bustop.
Do send me stupid drunk texts or pictures of my mom when she's tipsy and tailgating. Of course I miss my friends and I can't wait to go out with them again when I'm home. The divey bar with our favorite bartender mixing UV Blue and red bull, dancing to Selena at the gay bar, and having housemade infused vodka in the Haymarket are all things I'm excited to do when I'm home for Christmas. But in the mean time? Please send me silly booze-induced texts. Texting the guy that lived up the street from me while consuming vodka-waters at the gay bar always gives me something to laugh about in the morning.
Don't be an asshole. Cut me some slack, people! I'm probably not the greatest at staying in touch right now, but if you're close to me you should understand why: I'm overwhelmed, a little out of my element and nervous as hell to start my new job. I realize that I haven't been entirely reaching out to everyone but to be completely honest? It's because a lot of my friends upset me before I left, have empty conversations with me now that I'm gone and, just so that I sound like a whiny bitch, it's hurt my feelings.
Do take this post as an apology on my part for not being the best at this but also as a helpful suggestion that you could be doing better because the phone works both ways. If you miss me, it's a pretty good assumption that I'm missing you too.... unless you're one of the exes in the previously mentioned parade.
Don't be afraid to plan a trip to visit me, meet halfway or at least ask what my holiday plans are. I posted on Facebook that I had signed a lease and thought that maybe a few of my friends would message me about visiting before Christmas to do some holiday shopping on Michigan Avenue. Nope. What about the girls that had been wanting to visit Chicago before I even wanted to move here? Nothing. A little frustrating but I will throw on my Burberry sweater, beautiful black pumps and get out of bed tomorrow to head to my amazing new job.
So, friends, I hope to hear from y'all soon and can't wait to catch up on the latest gossip, silly things you've been up to, and what ridiculous trouble you've gotten yourself into. If you have to ask if this post is about you..... it probably is.
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