After reading this article on Buzzfeed this morning, I couldn't help but giggle. Not only is it totally true on so many levels, but it made me feel slightly less nutty that my sisters and I aren't the only ones out there. The best part is that I am lucky to have two best friends to do the dance from Robin Hood: Men in Tights at 3am on Christmas day when we've had too much wine while playing Sweet Valley High. Many people that get close to me are intrigued by my odd stories about my mom, my hideous dog that I grew up with and my Grampy that has a colorful way of describing weather patterns. Pile all that on with the mind blowing fact that there are two more of me floating around in the US. Gasp! We're all J's, even our nicknames - James and Jose. The three of us are completely different in so many ways; physically, our interests, taste in music/men/food, ambition, but have the most important thing in common: our high standards, Midwestern family values and a ridiculous laugh that could only come from our mother.
The best part about the Buzzfeed post was that all of the reasons are 100% spot-on (as always, way to go Buzzfeed), but that they're the same whether I'm thinking of my sisters when I was 4 years old playing with my Briar Horses or right now, as a 24 year old on my iPad, thinking about what type of whiskey I'll be consuming during the Burlesque show at Untitled tonight. I love and welcome change, but my relationship with both sisters is something that I don't think could be any more perfect.
It's rare to find someone that truly knows every dark secret about you, has lived with your high maintenance and borderline OCD ticks, and still loves you unconditionally. I think of the bitchy things I've said to the middle sister or the times that I said I would do something for my older sister and couldn't be happier that they're stuck with me and have to forgive me eventually. Too many hard lessons that I've had to learn has been at the expense of one of my siblings or they were going down the same road with me and we all pushed each other on.
I take full advantage of being baby of the family and if anyone takes the time to get to know me, it's clear that I'm the youngest child. Because I'm the youngest by eight years from James and four and a half from Jose, I have had the pleasure of compiling life advice at the expense of their mistakes:
- Always take your papers to school when mom tells you to. If not, she will show up to your middle school in her faded red, holey sweatpants, ratty slippers and bedhead to turn in your paper to the teach in front of your whole class. (Jose)
- Be as involved in as many extracirricular activities as you can ; academics, track/cross country, dorky zoo school, volunteer work and spilling Dairy Queen ice cream on your shirt and pretending it's a job. The more you're wrapped up in, the less mom harasses you. (James)
- A genuine, sincere apology goes a long way with mom. (Jose)
- Don't piss off mom so you don't have to offer perfectly thought-out apologies on the regular. (James)
- Being smart is cool, sexy and leads to meeting true friends. (James)
- But being a party animal, dressing sexy, and never wearing a bra leads to a lot of friends and even hotter guys. (Jose)
-Later realizing that those "cool" friends suck and the guys aren't hot after high school. They're just fat and have crappy jobs. (Jose)
- Pseudo-stalking your high school crush will lead to 10 years of a solid marriage, two amazing children and a lot of happiness. Still waiting for this to happen, by the way, James.
- How to mix the perfect drinks, throw a badass party in mom's basement, highlight my green eyes with the right eyeliner, shave my legs, walk in heels, show just the right amount of the little cleavage I do have, and, most importantly, have fun. Jose taught me every detail of being a girly-girl. I would say that I've surpassed the master in this area.
- You don't always need to be the prettiest, happiest, and most-outgoing. James unknowingly made me realize that the most stunning accessory is confidence and without it, you probably won't be the gorgeous girl laughing in a group of people. You'll be the depressed weirdo that no one wants to be around.
The best part has been that I grew up with the opportunity to see what I love the most about them and morph it into one. I'll never be as intelligent, motherly or athletic as James. She's so crafty and was that way long before Pinterest was a thing. Thanks to her, I took school very seriously and am very proud of my degrees, and will never apologize for being an educated woman. I take a lot of pride in seeing my nephews become little men and applaud her for her patience with them. To top it off, all of my crafts look like they belong on the Island of Misfit Toys. On the flip side, I don't think I will ever have the deep-seeded charisma that Jose has. She has the most amazing way of making any random person feel like they are the only one in the world, it's a gift that doesn't come easily. Even better, though, is that she has an innocent way of only seeing the positive in people. Oh, and she's a self-taught chef. One of those people that can look in a pantry and magically concoct a 5-Star quality meal out of the random shit without thinking twice. I still read the directions on my canned soup just to be sure I don't mess anything up. It's bad.
None of us live in the same state but, even without seeing each other for months or a year, I'll never be closer to anyone but these two. Part of that may be because they have too much dirt on me.
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