Don't rain on my parade

My previous post was about my best friend and the incredible surprise birthday party that he constructed.  He put more thought into this than anyone, boyfriends included, have into anything--ever. Is this sad? Probably. Either way, the entire surprise was a complete blast.

The night included my favorite people, our specialty made-up cocktail (chamblue), hummus with grilled zucchini, and my favorite bars. The only thing that put a damper on the night was our grouchy ex-friend that had RSVP'd to my party but chose not to show up. No big deal. I am all for everyone having fun and if something better came along then good for them! Except he was sitting at my favorite Jetson's-style bar (supposed to be a 50's bar but it's the Jetson's DAMN IT) looking sullen as per usual with another friend. Once we got settled in, I was getting up to walk over to him and invite them to join us and he was on his way out the door. I sent him a friendly text saying I missed him, I'd love to get lunch and that the phone works both ways so he's welcome to call me anytime.

Shortly later, we jetpack out of the underground Jetson's bar and head to the local gay bar. Upon getting there to meet with a darling man that had just gotten off work at the Mexican restaurant. He asked what had happened with the ex-friend and I. Confused, I said nothing, and informed my margarita-slinging pal of our plans to get lunch the following week. 

Fast forward to the next morning, I send the ex-friend a text saying that it was good to see him and I hope to hear from him soon. Possibly thirty seconds later, I am informed by Often Annoyed Designer (who is passed out on my couch and in my mother's clothing-what the hell??), that ex-friend was talking poorly about me and the long story short was that he broadcasted to our mutual friends that he would be "happy if [I] ended up dead in a ditch somewhere." WHAT NOW??? I, known as The Goddess of the Gays (it was scrawled across my birthday cake), should not be spoken of so negatively by someone I've done no harm to. Ex-friend responded to my friendly message with something fake like, "yes, let's do lunch and I'll let you know when I'm free." After hearing the news of his morbid wishes for me, I naturally replied with, "That, orrrrr I can just die in a ditch somewhere. Have a great day!" He never replied. No apology, no fuck you, no justification--just nothing.

This friend was roomies with my BFF and we continually invited him out but he preferred to sit in his room with the door closed on his distance-related hookup app, while DJ Poodle and I screamed through the wall inviting him to join us to the gay bar. He skipped out on the goodbye dinner, happy hour and made plans for the last weekend that my BFF was in town. Somehow, because he is unhappy in his own life, he placed the blame on us instead of himself and justified not saying goodbye. There are two sides to every story and I like to (stupidly) give everyone the benefit of the doubt, hence the friendly texts asking about lunch plans the week after my birthday.

Long story short; don't try to rain on my parade. Me being found dead in a ditch has been an ongoing joke between about ten of us. The day after all of the events, we all slowly realize that he not only deleted us from Facebook (mature), but blocked us (suuupercool). This wouldn't bother me in anyway except I was going to send him a nice, light message apologizing if I did anything to hurt him or make him feel out of the loop for any reason. Then it dawned on me: why am I going out of my way to make nice with someone who literally said they want me dead? Sometimes I am too nice (I bet most of my friends are peeing their pants laughing) for no reason whatsoever. This guy is a fun guy to go out with and I typically think he has good intentions, but, for whatever reason, is very unhappy with something in his life. Perhaps once he finishes school, stops living off of his parents, and stops sleeping with every guy he meets on Grindr, he will be the sweet, hilarious and pleasant man that became my friend three years ago. 

Until then, I'm avoiding all ditches. And death for that matter.